Dear Mom,

Being told no sucks. Being told no when you don’t understand why the answer is no sucks even more! Heck, I’m 32 and I don’t like being told no! So, don’t say no more than you need to.

Now don’t get me wrong, we aren’t out here letting our babies run around getting away with murder by any means. We have boundaries and we hold them and we’re working on teaching our little ones every single aspect of our modern society and how to find a way to be a part of it, and hopefully with some good manners and a kind heart. Considering they literally have no concept of the world around them, I’d say all of our toddlers are doing a pretty stinking good job at navigating life.

Since they’re learning from the ground up, let’s not box them in – their questions, problem solving, imagination and creativity! Now that Layla and Sophia are getting bigger, I’ve found myself automatically saying no to things just because I wasn’t allowed to have/do them, without giving it much thought. Will we get a trampoline? What about a fish? No, you can’t stay in your PJ’s all day, and out of the house?! When we’re not constantly saying “No, No, No”, when we do have to say “No” it becomes way more impactful! Hopefully that means we’ll take the “No’s” more seriously when it involves an important boundary for our family like safety or kindness.

Here’s what I mean:

No, you cannot touch the stove >> But you can stir the eggs…and sure go ahead and throw in that hot sauce you see Daddy trying

No, you cannot go out barefoot in the snow >> You want to wear your neon jammies, rainboots and cowboy hat to the library today? Rock on, fashionista!

No, you cannot walk in the parking lot without a parent >> Yes, I’ll watch you if you want to try to climb up the slide (and be ready with quick-mom hands)

No, you cannot hit your sister >> but if you need a minute to cry or scream, I’ll sit with you while you cool off

So, yes, we still hear a lot of “no” as we are testing the toddler boundaries of life. But when I tell you the way their eyes light up when you are able to give them an enthusiastic yes to an idea they have is really something special, trust me!