I went into my first pregnancy with a feeling of calm confidence – whether that came from a very type-A deep dive of research for all things pregnancy and childbirth or just knowing that the lifelong dreams of becoming a mother were coming to fruition, I really might never know!

At the time we lived in a small town with no immediate medical care, and although there were closer options, I found a midwife I really liked and followed her as she changed practices (going from about 30 minutes to 50 minutes away from our home). All of my prenatal care was handled at a midwife practice at a hospital with three midwives and one OB; I was very happy with the Certified Nurse Midwives who had specialty degrees in pregnancy, childbirth and women’s health while believing in an approach with fewer interventions based on the idea that nature designed us best and our bodies were meant for birth. The mesh of the ideals of the midwives while also getting to know an OB throughout my prenatal care should I need more medical intervention made me very comfortable. Similarly, their practice was attached to a hospital that had one of the best NICU’s in the area, should it be needed. With it being a newer hospital, accommodations in L&D were great – with each laboring room having a tub and a variety of peanut balls, squat bars and other tools for laboring how we saw fit!

After a fairly typical/uneventful first two trimesters, I went into my first appointment of my third trimester as usual. There was some talking, getting vitals and then my midwife got hands on to feel the baby and get her heartbeat. That’s when she noticed that baby girl’s head seemed to be up under my ribs. We walked across the hall to their in-house ultrasound which confirmed that baby was breech. To be honest, I was completely devastated. Up to this point I had felt so calm and ready! My body was built to bring my babies into the world and my mind knew that I could do it. This was a huge blow to me emotionally and I felt my birth experience being ripped from my fingers. I was very happy when my midwives immediately began providing options for a few methods to get her to flip into the correct position since I was only 28 weeks and we still had time to move her naturally.

I began attending a chiropractor who was certified in The Webster Technique as well as some at home stretches which would gently invert me and hopefully let gravity do a bit of the work. The Webster Technique isn’t so much about flipping the baby, but more about relaxing the ligaments around my pelvis and give the baby a little more room so she would have the opportunity to move. I stretched at home daily and saw the chiropractor weekly until we hit the 36 week mark and her head was still snugly in my ribs. At this point, my final option was going to be an External Cephalic Version (ECV), which is where a medical professional would press on my stomach with their hands in either a clockwise or counterclockwise motion to manually flip the baby into the correct position. I denied this procedure, based on my research of success rates and physical comfort it didn’t seem worth it to me. There is also a small chance it would cause me to go into labor and I would need an emergency c-section. By this time I had come to terms that my birth would be a c-section, but I still wanted it on my terms.

So, that was that. A planned c-section was scheduled and we were ready to meet our girl in a few short weeks after 39 weeks and 3 days of waiting! She was born on a Monday, bright and early:

4:00 am: My alarm went off, but I think I had been awake for an hour already from nerves and excitement. I got up and showered with a special pre-op body wash provided by the hospital and didn’t put on any lotions after. I had been fasting since midnight before and tried to keep it to just a few small sips of water. We headed out shortly after for the hour-ish drive to the hospital; normally the passenger princess, I asked Jon if I could drive since it wasn’t recommended for me to drive at least two weeks after surgery.

5:30 am: We arrived at the hospital at the prescribed time to fill out any outstanding paperwork and head up to L&D; being so early in the morning we came in through the Emergency entrance and went straight up to the second floor. Since there wouldn’t be any “L” in the L&D part, we were able to go straight to a recovery room to get ready. We met our nurses and did our final confirmation that she was still breech, got changed into my gown and got some fluids going in preparation for surgery. Jon also got his bunny suit so he could be in the operating room with me.

7:30 am: I liked that Jon and I were able to walk to the operating room together. We didn’t really know what to expect, even though I know they explained everything, it was still kindof a blur. Jon waited in a chair outside of the operating room and I was escorted inside – here Midwife Paula, the nurses and anesthesiologist were all getting set up. I got up on the table and was getting hooked up to all the monitors and Paula held me close in a big bear hug while I got the spinal. I had no forethought about being numb, but it was definitely my least favorite part. I had this weird feeling of being trapped – if my brain was telling my body to run a sprint, my toes were barely moving. Obviously this was needed for the c-section, but I feel like I didn’t expect it because it never crossed my mind to think about it. The drape went up, and Dr. Bowers arrived, gave me the biggest hug and got into her spot.

8:06 am: I suddenly felt what I can only describe as the suction like a vacuum and then emptiness after having my lungs squished for months and I told Jon “she’s here!”. I couldn’t help but sob in the best way possible hearing her first cries and they lowered the drape and put her straight on my chest. I wrapped her up in a hug and didn’t even realize that they were wiping her and Jon was cutting the cord and looked right into her little face and my first words to her were “it’s so nice to finally meet you” while mine and Jon’s first dance song from our wedding was playing softly in the background.

Monday: A few hours later I was able to get a light leg massage and the catheter out once I felt steady enough to walk myself to the bathroom. There is nothing quite as vulnerable as the first postpartum trip to the bathroom…you never really forget the nurses who help you in these moments. She was quiet with light red hair and a kind face. Initially, they needed to keep track of my fluids and bleeding (oh yea, I had no idea I would still have postpartum bleeding since I didn’t have a vaginal delivery, but you definitely do! The more you know) and I remember being so embarrassed because between her down next to me with the collection cup and not being able to move my torso from surgery everything was a huge mess. I asked for a minute of privacy and cried right there on the toilet. She just smiled and gave me a minute until I was ready for her to come back in and help me get dressed again. Late that night I was able to take a brief shower – enough to let the water run over me and get into my fresh jammies. I don’t think we tell ourselves we’re proud of ourselves enough, but I sure was.

I was so grateful for the amazing team of women and midwives who were with us every step of the way, and Jon’s unwavering support. Even though it wasn’t the first birth experience I envisioned for myself, it was absolutely a positive experience! Keep an eye out for future articles about my thoughts on what to expect for a c-section birth as well as my postpartum healing experience.

Women are incredible. Childbirth is incredible. Period.